10:08 a.m. - 2009-01-02
Just like Groundhog Day
I hate who I am right now. I hate my daily existence. I can't take much more of this mundane same shit every day life.
I've gone to two interviews. I was offered an Admin position near here for a reputable company where I met some very pleasant folks. It paid almost the same as I was making before. One little catch-it was a temporary, six-month assignment. Accepting that would've done me out of my severance, and where would I be at the end of the six months? I'd be ineligible for Unemployment Insurance, probably have no prospects.
I get up every morning (more recently, later & later), make the bed, clean, do laundry, exercise, run errands, etc. Every damn time I open an outside door, there's a cat or two who wants to be fed. Don't get me wrong-I feel for them, but they waste the food we put out, and who can afford that?!
I love my m-i-l to the utmost, and I respect her, think she's a great person, but she doesn't seem to understand I'd like to have some alone time sometimes. There are other issues, but since I'm no longer anonymous, I wouldn't feel comfortable telling other peoples' business here.
I really didn't want to make this entry. I don't want to be negative. I'm always the one preaching sunshine & flowers to everyone else, so I hate to be a hypocrite, but I've had enough.
I find I'm constantly monitoring myself to make sure I'm not taking out my unhappiness on others. Why is it fantastic when we share our joy with others but poor manners to share our woes?
I have nothing to be unhappy about-really. I mean, how lucky am I to have three months off with pay? Come on now. Al & Rachel are well, I live in a beautiful home in a great community, I am totally in love with my hubby, and I want for nothing. Well, nothing except a life.
Happy New Year, ya'll. Sorry to be so bummer.
